1. |
The Process Of Living
02:32
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The cigarette burns on the car seat baby
Are just a sign that I'm trying to heal here
Cause the ones who taught me how to love
Taught me how to self destruct
And when I self destruct it's for real
Been dreaming of pennies on tombstones lately
I’ve been too caught up in the Process of living.
I want to stay right here with you
But every day I feel like I’m giving in
I’ve been so caught up in the process of living
That I unraveled myself at the seams.
I’ll be carved out of soap in the morning
I’m going to melt in the spring
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2. |
Roaring Paper Spring
03:25
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Everything keeps adding up like water rusting through a faulty brake line
Everything keeps adding up like dust collecting on the back of window blinds
I've been sleeping through alarms again and losing my phone to the cushions of my couch
Always misplace my keys every time I need to leave the house
And this roaring paper spring, keeps me trembling in the dark
Everything keeps adding up like the oak leaves in the gutters cause the rain doesn't wash anything out
Everything keeps adding up like the gas or the electric bill
and my reflection in the mirror echoes the amount thats in my bank account
I've been sleeping through alarms again and losing my phone to the cushions of my couch
Always misplace my keys every time I need to leave the house
And this roaring paper spring, keeps me trembling in the dark
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3. |
Bats In The Belfry
04:04
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We’ve been sleeping in till noon
And napping, cause what else is there to do right now
We have to make the days pass by somehow
I think, we’ve been drinking way too much
And wishing that when we touch the world would just get lost
I hate the way that we can never shut it off
We’re waking up irrational and unamused
All our worst fears illogical, they all came true
While we endured the silence of the room
Lately things are such a mess,
I wish that non fiction could just rest
And the fables didn’t breathe
I miss when monsters only existed in my dreams
It's the curse of modern living
It's the paradox of Progress,
The easier things get
The more complicated they become
We’re waking up irrational and unamused
All our worst fears illogical, they all came true
While we suffer the anxiety of summer afternoons
And put up with the bankruptcy of endless cable news
The bats are in the belfry and the petunias are in bloom
While we endure the silence of the room.
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4. |
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Halfway around the world
Oh I miss you girl
I miss your eyes, the way they simplify life
And always set the world in motion
Royal blue stains my mind
As you fly over the atlantic ocean
What I’m trying to say is
I look up at the moon
For you it’s daytime soon
I miss your mind, the way you refuse to let me drown
Treading water off the coast of regression
You’re smelling salts, you wake me up
A life jacket of love and affection
What I’m trying to say is
When we were kids who would’ve thought you’d see Paris
When we were kids who would’ve thought we’d leave your mothers basement
Well when you get back I’ve got a little confession
I was never good at being lonely,
I’ve got a few bad habits that come back too easily
I was never good at being lonely
So tune me in to your frequency
I miss your hands, the way they curve into mine
Out of pure unapologetic devotion
Tiny wrists, softened palms
And the scent of your sweet pea lotion
Oh girl you set my world in motion
What I’m trying to say is I’m
Missing you from halfway around the world
I want to dance with you in the basement, till the colors start to swirl
I'm Missing you from halfway around the world
Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!
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5. |
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I live my life like I'm trying to extinguish the dark
Cutting off branches and burning them out in the yard
Watching the embers that float till they're swallowed by trees
Bright yellow birds in a forest of acorn and green
Oh, grace, why are you just out of reach
Oh, peace, the promise of perfect relief
I wait for the daylight, but it never comes...
I watch all my friends become cogs in this violent machine
Always exhausted now never as light as they seemed
We roared through our twenties, emotional youth in a storm
Halfway to dying, inhaling the fuel from the stars
Oh, age, you always put me in my place
The more things change they always just end up the same
I wait for the daylight, but it never comes...
I consider myself an incredibly fortunate man
The love I receive is just something I can't understand
My wife and my family well sometimes they terrify me
What happens one day when they’re no longer there to plug in the breathing machine
Oh, love, breathe some new life into me
Like fish in the fall, we’re always swimming upstream
I wait for the daylight, but it never comes...
Oh, hope please stop abandoning me
Oh, hope, the only branch left on the tree
I know the daylight one day...it's going to come
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6. |
Peak/Peek
01:55
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What happens to the souls of men as they grow older?
Emotions swept under rugs they sit like boulders.
I never found hope or belief
In the wailing and gnashing of teeth
It seems no matter how hard I try
I need to try harder
No matter how good I do I need to do better
Against the wailing and gnashing of teeth
In finding some kind of hope or belief
Cause emotions swept under rugs they sit like boulders
What happens to the souls of men as they grow older?
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7. |
The Stirring Of A Breeze
03:23
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Went down to the river, dug my toes into the shore
The wind it made me shiver, like a child on the floor
And my teeth they started chattering as it soaked into my skin,
That roaring paper spring has got me trembling again
I never left my hometown was afraid of what I’d miss
I wanted to get married watch my friends have all their kids
But something it kept calling me from deep inside my soul
That roaring paper spring always kept me wanting more
Wanting more, Wanting more
Like the river to the shore
That roaring paper spring always
Kept me wanting more
So I got an education, thought that I could affect change
But it never mattered what I said, it all just stayed the same
I come home in the evenings, broken and unsure
That roaring paper spring always knocking at the door
There's a lot of darkness. It's never going to stop
It keeps my fingers itching, my head spinning like a top
I’m angry, I’m exhausted, and I’m looking for a fight
But that roaring paper spring keeps me reaching towards the light
Towards the light, Towards the light
Towards the everlasting light
That roaring paper spring
Keeps me reaching towards the light
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8. |
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Hope keeps eluding me
Like a diamond ring at the bottom of a sink drain
Look close you’ll see it sparkle and fade
Why is everything that's beautiful always
Rusted and out of reach
But in the morning when I open up my eyes
All I can hear is the roaring whirr of the cold industrial street lights
Cause everything’s the same as it once was
Just different than it was back then
The world moves from order to chaos and back to order again
Time keeps surprising me
Like an extra bottle in the liquor cabinet
I put it there to keep me company
It listens well when it’s full
But it don’t talk back when it’s empty
But in the morning when I open up my eyes
And all I can hear is the roaring whirr of the cold industrial street lights
It seems everything’s the same as it once was
Just different than it was back then
The world moves from order to chaos and back to order again
My mind is not my own sometimes, I have to share it with everyone I know
There are so many things I can do nothing about
Oh there is so much that I wish I could control
When the whispers turn to screams, become so god damn deafening
And it’s all that I can do some days to keep myself from screaming
(The more things change, the more this all feels like a dream,
Our frozen bodies will finally start to melt in the spring
When I was never good at being lonely, you tried so hard to make me believe…)
It's alright, It's not your fault.
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9. |
The Motion In Your Eyes
03:35
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I see the motion in your eyes
The way they sway from coast to coast
I see the motion in your eyes
And that’s what bothers me the most
I watch you twirl your wedding band
Like planets orbiting the sun
I watch you twirl your wedding band
Think of the damage that I've done
I saw you crying In your hands
Your body sinking in the couch
The diamonds fell out of your eyes
And landed softly in your mouth
I never thought I’d be this way
A grown man driven to his knees
But I know just what you’re gonna say
You wish you never married me
Love’s never been a perfect thing
Sometimes it withers on the vine
Or it gets picked off way too soon
Or it gets stolen in the night
Love’s never been a perfect thing
Sometimes a limb dies on the tree
But you have to pull the branches off
So there are new ones in the spring.
I see the motion in your eyes
The way they sway from coast to coast
I see the motion in your eyes
And that’s what bothers me the most
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10. |
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I've Been waking up to riots in the streets
When I sleep I’m always sweating through my sheets
I can’t shut it off, Like the fluorescent lights
Every single day is like the one before
Children trapped behind suburban closet doors
I watch the world erupt through radioactive screens
They tore down the high school by my house
To make room for a landfill
Where they taught us to care
Or not to care
But they could never really teach us to sit still.
I’ve grown weary of a world I can’t explain
Generations building farms on stolen land
It makes me sick, like I’m in someone else’s skin
I want to be the change that I don’t see
Tarnished copper mixed with silver cutlery
A rooftop on the edge of a shattered world.
Well they tore down the high school by my house
To make room for a landfill
I watched my neighbors lost their homes to pay for
the prison on the hill
Those doctors kept us taking
All of those bitter paper pills
They want us to care when they don't care
But they could never really teach us to sit still.
While our mothers were leaving
Our daughters were dying in the fields
Our fathers were pleading
Our brothers never stopped clicking their heels
And the men behind the curtains pull their strings
To bend our will
They want us to care when they don't care
But they could never really teach us to sit still.
Streets of gold they used to glisten in the twilight
The person I was then is someone I don't recognize
I Finished high school went to college
Earned a paper bent my will
They want me to care when they don't care
But they could never really teach me to sit still
End Clip From T.S. Eliot's Poem Ash Wednesday
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11. |
Alabaster Blues
06:20
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It’s always getting colder in Ohio
We’ve got the weather and the people
That make you lose all self control
Nothing ever happens in Ohio
Unless you’re living through your children
While the bases are loaded
Well I’m already drunk on my back porch wondering
Is it going to get as bad as it did last year?
I don’t want to see the snow again
Don’t want to be alone again
Because winter makes me anxious
Over things I can’t control
So when I’m gone
Whether I’m old or young
Well I hope that it is summer when I go
Everyone’s so quick to cast a shadow
On their neighbors who obsess over
The things they’ll never know
It’s always getting worse here in Ohio
Unless your name is on the scoreboard
Or your spouse is at home
Sifting through the pages of the
Dollar Store Highs and lows
Well I’m already drunk on my back porch wondering
Is it going to get as bad as it did last year?
And I know the alabaster blues are waiting
And I don’t want to see the snow again
Don’t want to be alone again
Because winter makes me anxious
Over things I can’t control
So when I’m gone
Whether I’m old or young
Well I hope that it is summer when I go
On my way up the incline I was skinning my knees
I Did my best to fill my lungs up with the scent of the trees
I Placed my hands down on the asphalt I forgot how it felt
To ignore all of the others and to live for myself
Well on my way back down the top was not what it seemed
I’m getting used to all these changes that are happening to me
The grass keeps growing through the pavement to cushion the blow
You’ll never pass this way again It’s all just part of the show
Well I’m done holding my breath in hopes that I will go far
I need to learn to be content with the way that things are
Cause there’s no order in the chaos no cement on the ground
You've got to
Let all of the madness be my shelter keep you safe and sound
So when the bats are in the belfry and the petunias are in bloom
And I’m missing you like crazy from the dark side of the moon
Whenever grace is out of reach, and it feels like hope will never come
And the rotten souls of men it seems are all that carries on
I'll Find that motion in the chaos
I'll Know there is love inside us still
Even when no one seems to care
And they only want to teach us to sit still
That roaring paper spring keeps me trembling in the dark...
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12. |
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I sold the car with the burns on the car seat
Yeah I'm not great but I'm better than I used to be
Cause you taught me how to love
Showed me when I self destruct
That I am always taking you with me
No more pennies on tombstones
I'm still not great at the process of living
But if it keeps me here with you
I'll do all that I can do to keep digging in.
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